When I was in elementary school, I really didn’t care much about grades. Frankly, my parents never emphasized what letter grade to bring home. I had classmates that would cry when they didn’t come first in class because they said their parents will not be happy with them. So they did everything they thought they needed to do to be 1st place in class. I, on the other hand, got the same love, care, and affection from my parents regardless of my grades. I wasn’t failing or anything, I just never thought it was that important to prevent me from enjoying my childhood.
I was a happy child. I played a lot. I played soccer with the boys, I hated doll play. We would run around the house and place police-and-thief or hide-and-seek. It was fun, I was a try queen. I loved to try new things until I was proficient at it. I didn’t care how many times I failed, I just kept at it until I got it. I didn’t know how intelligent I was until I got to high school, I had to transfer schools because of a religious crisis in my city. When I got to this new school, it was two weeks before the end of the term. I didn’t know anyone and few students wanted to share their notes with me. So, I read the books I came with and the notes I could get. Not long after, teachers started to sing my praise, they said this new student just got here and is topping all of you. Shoot! I didn’t know what to say, I came from a large school with over seventy students in just one class so receiving such praise was new to me. But one thing remained constant, I was just being me and trying my best as I always did. Needless to say, that term was the first, and last time I didn’t top my class.
I found a new fire, new drive, and a new purpose that if I applied myself, I would most likely make it. I never thought I would be exploring the field of entrepreneurship, I always wanted to be a physician and after coming to the US, and seeing the high price tag (student loan) attached to that dream, I had to rethink it for a bit. I got accepted into two medical schools but chose not to attend. So, it is not a result of personal failures that I decided to be an entrepreneur. I am realizing that the more education I acquire (doctorate student) the more rigid my thinking is becoming. I used to be able to try everything, as long as it was possible, it was good enough for me. Perhaps it is just getting older, but I find myself overthinking everything.
How is this gonna work? But this is too simple to be true. Why am I so self-conscious? Why can’t I do the needful to get to where I know I am able to get to? I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing but why can’t I get the results that I need? So what do I do? Am I in my head most of the time? Yes, I am in my head.
So, here is what I will do. TRUST! Trust in the process. Trust in the power of what I am doing, believe in the process. Put in the work, not every work will produce the desired result but not doing anything is not going to produce results either. So, do, try, try, try again. Get out your head, do, be, try, and become who you know you are able of becoming.
So, get out your head, do the needful, keep it simple. It isn’t you they are rejecting, just do it. JUST DO IT!
Yours always,
Leah Manya 